Parenting Is The Art Of Daily Survival
Nate is 3 months old now. I’ve been an official full-time Stay-At-Home-Dad (SAHD) for 1 month now, since Amy went back to work full-time. Things have gone well, but have been pretty tough.
Week 1 of my SAHD time had me covering more of the night-time feedings. I learned that I have a very hard time getting back to sleep after spending an hour warming the bottle, soothing while the bottle warms, feeding, burping, changing, feeding/burping some more, and soothing the little man to sleep. I’m a night owl by nature, and once I get revved up at night, my brain goes on full throttle working on the world’s problems. The baby sleeps, but I don’t. Thankfully, my in-laws provided great support so that I could bring Nate over in the afternoon and grab a couple hours of sleep. Nice.
Week 2 I got sick. I learned that there is no such thing as a “sick day” when you are a stay-at-home parent. You suck it up and take care of the baby and family. My in-laws were out on vacation, so I didn’t have that extra support, which was very much missed. Two days after I got sick, Amy got sick. Two days after that, Nate got sick, and registered his first fever. That was a tough week.
Week 3 we took Nate to the pediatrician, even though he appeared to be feeling better. Turns out that his left ear had an ear infection and Nate needed antibiotics. Babies first infection. Something for the baby book! :-) The in-laws were still out of town and I was still sick, due to lack of rest. Another tough week, but Nate’s schedule got a bit better, and he started sleeping longer (one 5 hour shift each night), which helped significantly.
Week 4 has Nate finishing up his medicine, but still not quite back to normal. Still tugs on his ear occasionally, and we return to the pediatrician tomorrow. His sleep schedule has reverted back to only 3-4 hours between feedings, which is not so good for the parents. But the in-laws have returned and I got a wonderful 2.5-hour long nap in this week! In general, I get 4-5 hours of sleep each night.
It’s pretty hard to plan next week, next month, or next year currently.
As such, it’s all about surviving today, so that you can survive again tomorrow. One day at a time.
I’m sure things will get easier when Nate “sleeps through the night”. I’ll keep you informed!
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6 comments:
Brian, I really wish I could tell you that it gets easier as you go along but I really don't like lying to another Stay at Home Daddy. As far as I can tell, the older children get(ours is almost 4) the more colds they bring home from school, the playground, etc. Big shock to any stay at home caregiver: these colds tend to hang around forever; as soon as one person gets over it another gets it (repeat cycle as needed).
And you're absolutely right, of course. We have absolutely no other option than just to get up and take care of your children. Obviously, it is very easy to say this and very, very hard to even attempt to do. If you're lucky, you have a good support system (my mother-in-law has been a huge help; how often do you hear that?)
So, all I can really tell you is to hang in there; you are not alone!
P.S. Of course, there's one other thing which sums up all of the problems we've mention:
It's the best job in the world! Enjoy it while you can.My SAHD Life
Hi SAHD DAD,
Thanks for the encouragement!
Yeah, you are right. Nate's cousins are two boys - 7 and 2 years old. The older one is in school, and it seems like someone in the family is sick at least every other week. I'm probably exaggerating, but that's what it seems like...
Yes, the job is very fulfilling and I will enjoy it while I can (he writes at 2:46am...)!
-Brian
Good luck. You'll find the at-home dad gig the most rewarding in your life. Just don't let it freak you out. Relax and enjoy your child.
Hi Always Home...
Excellent advice. Relax is someting I definitely need to make more automatic.
Cheers,
-Brian
Hey Brian, if it makes you feel a tiny bit better, I work nights right now and my husband stays home with him. I sleep during the day, and I am still breastfeeding, so while I sleep, my hubby brings Cayden in to feed when he's hungry, so my sleep is constantly interrupted! *sigh* maybe sleep is just overrated, ya think?!
BoggsWifeNMom - Your situation sounds pretty tough. Since you work at night, it sounds like your husband is covering the night as well as the day. Breastfeeding is really tough on working Mom's sleep. As a man, i really don't know how you working Moms do it. Hats off to you all.
And, no sleep is not overrated! Sleep deprivation works its way into every aspect of your life, so try hard to get an occasional restorative sleep to catch up.
I've spent the last 3 weeks trying to "sleep train" Nate, and things have been very tough, but improving. I'l get a post up as soon as I have time, but things have been a bit busy of late.
Cheers,
-Brian
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